Just like that

Otto wasn't sure he wanted to do anything at all that day or today or any day to come for that matter except he still said he would. But of course he did it anyway as he always did because what was the alternative. Why not read a sonnet and reread it and reread only one or two lines or each of all the lines. Outside was cold and windy like fall. The leaves in the trees were hissing. Yes they were hissing that's exactly what they were doing. Maybe it wasn't so bad. He always thought it was when it couldn't have been or didn't have to be and then everything changed all of a sudden just like that. Just like the time he was sitting on a bench in the park and everything looked clear all the spaces between the leaves and the branches the light flatly beaming through them. The squirrels were terrible nibbling and nibbling whiskers quivering greedily cowardly and utterly uncivilized. The couples were terrible sitting sprawled fat on the bench clouded in the thick oily black newspaper. Today this happened and he said no. Yesterday that went this way. The day before and the day after and the day ever after was stupendous. Stupendous stupendous stupendous. Once a Japanese man stuck a knife in his belly. It wasn't a knife it was a sword. It wasn't his belly it was his side just at the edge slipped under a muscle and twisted and dug. Maybe he felt like it was good. The baseball players they were cracking. The children were screeching. Their yells were yelps of joy and of angst. I hate this all of this so much it's so. The wind was frosty and smelled like coffee. The wind smelled like craving coffee. What if the wind never went away dug and twisted into the bone. What get up and go. Where. Get up and go. Anywhere. You'll see.